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Apologise! Apologise to my fucking dice!

Friendly

Cooking up Trouble, Sex and Death and That’s Entertainment are the twenty-third, twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth chapters of Best Served Cold.

Chapter Summary Edit

The morning of the party at Cardotti’s, Cosca wakes up early, and goes looking for a drink, only to find Friendly preparing breakfast. Although Friendly barely says a word, Cosca has a long conversation bemoaning his lot in life. Morveer also wakes early, bemoaning the lack of respect he gets from Monza, and goes through his daily routine of building up his immunity to various poisons.

They head to Cardotti’s, with Shivers dressed as a caricature of a Northman barbarian, and Cosca dandified to the nines with a tall hat and black cane. Inside, Shivers path is blocked by a tall beautiful woman with long black hair in a crystal mask, a tight corset and a high slit skirt; Monza.1 Monza heads upstairs to wait with a similarly dressed Vitari. Meanwhile, Friendly is assigned to one of the gaming tables, and in the attic, Morveer and Day drill holes in the roof to fire their blow-darts through.

As day turns to night, the festivities begin with Cosca plays master of ceremonies. Soon the guests begin to arrive. And more and more guests, far more than they were expecting, many of them guards. As soon as Ario and presumably Foscar arrive, Cosca seals the gates. The pair eventually make their way up to the Royal Suite. However, when the man they’ve all assumed is Foscar, pulls off his mask he's revealed to be none other than High King Jezal of The Union. Faced with Monza and Vitari, he asserts that Vitari may leave as he prefers dark-hair girls.2 Jezal nervously insists that he is here with his wife permission. Playing for time, Monza offers him husk to calm his nerves, however he insists she take some too. By the time he’s finally passes out, Monza too is wasted; which is bad but things soon get much worse.

Meanwhile outside, Shivers begins his fake duel with Greylock, but Greylock isn’t exactly faking, he’s trying to kill him in revenge for the death of his younger brother in Uffrith.3 Shivers attempts to pacify him turn to rage, as he comes on strong as well. Eventually Greylock tires against the younger man, and Shivers cracks him in the jaw with his shield rim, then sends a mighty swing of his sword through Greylock’s arm into his side. Inside at the gaming tables, Friendly also has trouble having to deal with a disgruntled drunken gambler, who accuses him of using fake dice. In something of an overreaction, his splits the man's skull with his cleaver and then repeatedly stabs him.

Upstairs, Monza staggers into the hallway, where Morveer and Day have dealt with the guards, and down to Prince Ario’s room. Inside, Ario is lying naked on the bed. Assuming she’s another whore, he starts pumping himself up again. However, his face changes as she removes her mask. Monza grabs the knives hidden in her bodice, and stabs him in the side and then the neck. Ario totted, gripping at his wounds, and drops through the window to the courtyard far below.

With that, chaos ensues as Ario’s corpse lands in the middle of Shivers’ fighting circle. King Jezal’s guards grab their weapons, and Cosca’s entertainers do the same. Screams rise as the fire-breather sets to work, causing Cardotti’s to catch alight. Cosca and Shivers fight their way inside, Shivers accidentally killing a prostitute during the chase. While Cosca saves his own skin and flees, Shivers insists on going for Monza. Pursued by guards, Shivers throws a lamp at them adding to the flames. At the top of the stairs a Union soldier barrels out of one of the whores bedrooms. Shivers butts him in the face and hurls him down the stairs.4

On the top floor, now filling with smoke, Shivers find Monza just standing there, spaced out from the husk. As more Union guards arrive, Shivers throws her through the window to the canal far below, and then jumps out himself.

Characters Edit

Introduced Appeared Mentioned
Nicomo Cosca Day Queen Terez
Castor Morveer Prince Ario
Caul Shivers Count Foscar
Monza Murcatto Yoru Sulfur
Friendly Jezal dan Luthar
Shylo Vitari The Union
Greylock Bremer dan Gorst
Yoru Sulfur

Locations and Terms Edit

Sipani Styria Cardotti’s House of Leisure Northmen Husk The Union Uffrith

References Edit

  1. Monza often describes her injuries as being disfiguring, but is called "quite fine" by Shivers, and hand-picked by the King of the Union while wearing an outfit that clearly leaves very little to the imagination.
  2. King Jezal's preference for dark haired girls is obviously a reference to Ardee West.
  3. In chapter Being Chief of Last Argument of Kings, the young man killed by The Dogman on the docks at the start of the capture of Uffrith is Greylock's brother.
  4. The Union man that Shivers hurls down the stairs is revealed to be Bremer dan Gorst in The Heroes.


Chapters in The First Law
The Blade Itself

Part 1

Prologue: The End ▪ 1. The Survivors ▪ 2. Questions ▪ 3. No Choice at All ▪ 4. Playing With Knives ▪ 5. Teeth and Fingers ▪ 6. The Wide and Barren North ▪ 7. Fencing Practice ▪ 8. The Morning Ritual ▪ 9. First of the Magi ▪ 10. The Good Man ▪ 11. On the List ▪ 12. An Offer and a Gift ▪ 13. The King of the Northmen ▪ 14. A Road Between Two Dentists ▪ 15. Flatheads ▪ 16. The Course of True Love ▪ 15. How Dogs are Trained ▪ 16. Tea and Vengeance
The Blade Itself

Part 2

▪ 17. What Freedom Looks Like ▪ 18. The King’s Justice ▪ 19. Means of Escape ▪ 20. Three Signs ▪ 21. The Theatrical Outfitter’s ▪ 22. Barbarians at the Gate ▪ 23. Next ▪ 24. Better than Death ▪ 25. Sore Thumb ▪ 26. Questions ▪ 27. Nobility ▪ 28. Dark Work ▪ 29. Words and Dust ▪ 30. The Remarkable Talents of Brother Longfoot ▪ 31. Her Kind Fight Everything ▪ 32. She Loves Me ... Not ▪ 33. The Seed ▪ 34. Never Bet Against a Magus ▪ 35. The Ideal Audience ▪ 36. The House of the Maker ▪ 37. Nobody’s Dog ▪ 38. Each Man Worships Himself ▪ 39. Old Friends ▪ 40. Back to the Mud ▪ 41. Misery ▪ 42. The Bloody-Nine ▪ 43. The Tools we Have
Before They Are Hanged

Part 1

▪ 1. The Great Leveler ▪ 2. Best Laid Plans ▪ 3. Questions ▪ 4. The Wounds of the Past ▪ 5. The Condition of the Defences ▪ 6. The Thing About Trust ▪ 7. Allies ▪ 8. Campfire Politics ▪ 9. Small Crimes ▪ 10. Rain ▪ 11. Bloody Company ▪ 12. Long Shadows ▪ 13. And next… My Gold ▪ 14. Fear ▪ 15. One Hundred Words ▪ 16. The Blind Lead the Blind ▪ 17. Prince Ladisla’s Stratagem ▪ 18. Until Sunset ▪ 19. Long Odds ▪ 20. The Road to Victory ▪ 21. Necessary Evils ▪ 22. Among the Stones ▪ 23. The Fruits of Boldness ▪ 24. One for Dinner ▪ 25. One of Them
Before They Are Hanged

Part 2

▪ 26. Heading North ▪ 27. Scant Mercy ▪ 28. So This is Pain ▪ 29. One Step at a Time ▪ 30. The Rest is Wasted Breath ▪ 31. A Matter of Time ▪ 32. Scars ▪ 33. Furious ▪ 34. To the Last Man ▪ 35. Jewel of Cities ▪ 36. Luck ▪ 37. Beneath the Ruins ▪ 38. No Good for Each Other ▪ 39. The Hero’s Welcome ▪ 40. Cold Comfort ▪ 41. The High Places ▪ 42. Coming Over ▪ 43. Cheap at the Price ▪ 44. To the Edge of the World ▪ 45. Before the Storm ▪ 46. Questions ▪ 47. Holding the Line ▪ 48. A Fitting Punishment ▪ 49. The Abode of Stones ▪ 50. Back to the Mud
Last Argument of Kings

Part 1

▪ 1. The Poison Trade ▪ 2. Being Chief ▪ 3. This Noble Business ▪ 4. The New Man ▪ 5. Feeding Time ▪ 6. So Much In Common ▪ 7. Honesty ▪ 8. Ghosts ▪ 9. Bad Debts ▪ 10. A Ragged Multitude ▪ 11. Beloved Of The Moon ▪ 12. Flowers And Plaudits ▪ 13. Too Many Knives ▪ 14. Best Of Enemies ▪ 15. Fortunes Of War ▪ 16. The Kingmaker ▪ 17. The Trap ▪ 18. Horrible Old Men ▪ 19. Prepared For The Worst ▪ 20. The Habit Of Command ▪ 21. The First Day ▪ 22. Such Sweet Sorrow ▪ 23. Picked Up A Shadow ▪ 24. Questions ▪ 25. The Fourth Day ▪ 26. The Perfect Couple ▪ 27. The Seventh Day ▪ 28. Too Many Masters ▪ 29. Sweet Victory ▪ 30. Rude Awakenings
Last Argument of Kings

Part 2

▪ 31. The Number Of The Dead ▪ 32. Leaves On The Water ▪ 33. Authority ▪ 34. The Circle ▪ 35. Greater Good ▪ 36. Skarling’s Chair ▪ 37. Leadership ▪ 38. A Rock And A Hard Place ▪ 39. Charity ▪ 40. Better Left Buried ▪ 41. Tomorrow’s Hero ▪ 42. Nightfall ▪ 43. Questions ▪ 44. The Day Of Judgement ▪ 45. Sacrifices ▪ 46. Open The Box ▪ 47. Dark Paths ▪ 48. Reckoning ▪ 49. After The Rains ▪ 50. Answers ▪ 51. The Wounded ▪ 52. Patriotic Duties ▪ 53. The First Law ▪ 54. Tea And Threats ▪ 55. Behind The Throne ▪ 56. Good Men, Evil Men ▪ 57. Not What You Wanted ▪ 58. Loose Ends ▪ 59. The Beginning
Best Served Cold ▪ 1. Benna Murcatto Saves a Life ▪ 2. PART I: TALINS ▪ 3. Talins Chapters 1 ▪ 4. Talins Chapters 2 ▪ 5. Talins Chapters 3 ▪ 6. PART II: WESTPORT ▪ 7. Westport Chapters 1 ▪ 8. Westport Chapters 2 ▪ 9. Westport Chapters 3 ▪ 10. Westport Chapters 4 ▪ 11. PART III: SIPANI ▪ 12. Sipani Chapters 1 ▪ 13. Sipani Chapters 2 ▪ 14. Sipani Chapters 3 ▪ 15. Sipani Chapters 4 ▪ 16. PART IV: VISSERINE ▪ 17. Visserine Chapters 1 ▪ 18. Visserine Chapters 2 ▪ 19. Visserine Chapters 3 ▪ 20. Visserine Chapters 4 ▪ 21. Visserine Chapters 5 ▪ 22. Visserine Chapters 6 ▪ 23. PART V: PURANTI ▪ 24. Puranti Chapters 1 ▪ 25. Puranti Chapters 2 ▪ 26. Puranti Chapters 3 ▪ 27. Puranti Chapters 4 ▪ 28. Puranti Chapters 5 ▪ 29. PART VI: OSPRIA ▪ 30. Ospria Chapters 1 ▪ 31. Ospria Chapters 2 ▪ 32. Ospria Chapters 3 ▪ 33. Ospria Chapters 4 ▪ 34. PART VII: TALINS ▪ 35. Talins Again Chapters 1 ▪ 36. Talins Again Chapters 2 ▪ 37. Talins Again Chapters 3 ▪ 38. Talins Again Chapters 4 ▪ 39. Talins Again Chapters 5

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